Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
