yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
