We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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