It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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