I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
