If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
