he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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