woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
