i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
