I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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