Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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