Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
