it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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