he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize