Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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