she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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