I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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