her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize