oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
