I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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