Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
