Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
