nut hugger
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
