I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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