I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
