My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
