Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
