My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i can't believe i had my finger in that
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
