pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
