4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize