Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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