Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize