I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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