Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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