I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
