all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
