Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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