we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
the raccoons are back...
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