I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He shit in the fireplace
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
