It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
