there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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