hell yes lets make some ravioli
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
