And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
