We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
