Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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