His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
