Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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