There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
