He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
