Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
