I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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