Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she looked like the before picture.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
