woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I woke up under a house in Key West
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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