it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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