I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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