She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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