My cat gives me a boner
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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