his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
