I think I am morally bankrupt
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize