The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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