did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize