If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My cat gives me a boner
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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