thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
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