No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
