Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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