So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The adults are the big ones right?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
