too bad you live with your parents still
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
